I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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