i need an iv and a liver transplant
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
