Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
