this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
