You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
dude. I can hear the air.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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