Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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