Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
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I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
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As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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