all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
