I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
