did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
