Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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