He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
