i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
