you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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