you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
