found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ladies don't puke and tell
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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