you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
