I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
