I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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