I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
