I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She even gives head with a lisp.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
