New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't deserve a penis
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
