I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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