The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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