The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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