In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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