And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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