you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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