I wanna bring you to show and tell
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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