I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
