Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
