smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize