Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
