i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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