Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
