He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
