i just wanna soil my oats bro
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
