So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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