: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
