I wish i was in the wii world.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
