so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
