Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
