Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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