Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
