I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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