I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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