i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude i'm inner monologue high
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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