Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Randomize
