You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
