I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
