and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's official drugs can't kill me
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
