True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize