I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
