Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.