what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
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I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship