I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding