Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.

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(519): dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto. http://tfl.nu/omlc

Replies (40) Good night (715) Bad night (3426)
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(818): View more from California

this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera

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(818): this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera http://tfl.nu/scvo

Replies (10) Good night (2953) Bad night (503)
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(562): View more from California

he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...

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(562): he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out... http://tfl.nu/eghd

Replies (62) Good night (662) Bad night (8224)
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(512): View more from Texas

Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.

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(512): Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise. http://tfl.nu/xhgo

Replies (13) Good night (5369) Bad night (548)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!

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(812): I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah! http://tfl.nu/iijo

Replies (13) Good night (2600) Bad night (726)
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(512): View more from Texas

I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants

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(512): I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants http://tfl.nu/4e8k

Replies (61) Good night (814) Bad night (8405)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.

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(973): I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung. http://tfl.nu/lg9m

Replies (18) Good night (5069) Bad night (841)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.

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(662): We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety. http://tfl.nu/psgs

Replies (14) Good night (4518) Bad night (796)
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(845): View more from New York

I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.

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(845): I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ. http://tfl.nu/s7ef

Replies (30) Good night (13581) Bad night (1161)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.

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(610): I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting. http://tfl.nu/w8rn

Replies (9) Good night (1257) Bad night (6911)
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(309): View more from Illinois

stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.

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(309): stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof. http://tfl.nu/lut1

Replies (8) Good night (2736) Bad night (860)
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(806): View more from Texas

Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.

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(806): Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain. http://tfl.nu/iymf

Replies (16) Good night (3098) Bad night (804)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk

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(780): It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk http://tfl.nu/34yj

Replies (8) Good night (795) Bad night (327)
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(417): View more from Missouri

When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!

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(417): When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it! http://tfl.nu/b9cd

Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (200)
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(410): View more from Maryland

You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi

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(410): You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi http://tfl.nu/fnbe

Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (228)

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