I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
