giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
