he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
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I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
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You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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