i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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