I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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