she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
