you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
