just come out here and I will go home with you...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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